What Grief Teaches Us During the Holidays

The holidays can bring grief into sharper focus. Families often enter the season carrying both love and loss, and funeral directors see firsthand how those emotions shift when the world around them is celebrating.

During Tribute Technology’s November Summit, funeral director Jim Busch from Busch Funeral & Crematory Services shared what he witnesses each holiday season. His experience reflects what many across the profession know well. The holidays are not only joyful or sorrowful. They are complicated. They stretch families in ways that are tender, unpredictable, and deeply human.

As Jim explains in the video above, “Not everybody knows that grief journey. Only you do.” His perspective aligns with what funeral directors observe year after year as they walk beside families through their hardest days.

Being Kind to Yourself Is Not Optional. It Is Necessary.

Funeral directors regularly remind families that there is no correct way to grieve during the holidays. Some moments feel unexpectedly peaceful. Others feel heavier than expected. Grief does not follow the rhythm of the season, and families should never feel pressured to match it.

The most consistent message funeral directors share is simple.
Give yourself permission to feel what you feel.

“The biggest piece of advice we can give is to be kind to yourself along the way. No one knows what you are experiencing.” 

-Jim Busch, Owner & President of Busch Funeral and Cremation Services

This is the foundation of compassionate care during the season. There is no timeline. No comparison. No expectation that defines what a family’s holidays should look like. Funeral directors validate this every day.

Presence Matters More Than Perfect Words

Many people worry about saying the wrong thing to someone who is grieving. Funeral directors hear this often, and their answer is nearly always the same. It is not what you say that matters most. It is that you stay.

Jim puts it plainly. “For those who know someone who is grieving, come alongside them. The best thing you can do is the gift of presence. Just show up. Have a listening ear. Do not come with an agenda. Just be present.”

Directors see every year how meaningful it is when friends and family:

The holidays can amplify loneliness. Presence interrupts that loneliness in a way words cannot.

Community Support Makes a Difference

Grief is personal, but it is never lived alone. Funeral directors see how families draw strength from the people who knew their loved one, the people who wish they had known them better, and the people who simply care enough to reach out.

Even the smallest gestures matter:

These gestures help families feel held by their community at a time when they may feel most disconnected.

Honoring Your Loved One While Honoring Yourself

Funeral directors often guide families toward balance. The holidays do not require families to be cheerful, nor do they require avoiding every moment that might bring comfort. They invite families to move with thoughtfulness and intention.

Common guidance directors share includes:

This season is not a test of resilience. It is an invitation to care for yourself while remembering someone you love.

How Funeral Homes Extend Support Beyond the Arrangement Room

Funeral directors understand that grief continues long after the service. Many homes create holiday-specific programming, write seasonal guidance, or share grief resources to support families during this time of year.

Jim and his team are one example of how funeral homes bring practical care to life. Their leadership reflects a broader truth across the profession. Funeral directors do more than arrange services. They continue to walk with families in the weeks and months that follow, offering grounding, reassurance, and compassionate presence throughout the holidays.

Before closing his message, Jim offers a wish that resonates across the field. He hopes families find small, unexpected moments of peace this holiday season. Many funeral professionals share the same hope for the families they serve.

Additional Holiday Grief Support Resources

Families often benefit from support beyond what they receive from their funeral home. The following organizations offer thoughtful, holiday-specific grief resources that funeral homes can recommend:

GriefShare
Seasonal workshops and practical guides for navigating holiday grief.

The Dougy Center
Tools and articles for grieving children and families, including a Holiday Plan worksheet.

The Compassionate Friends
A non-profit organization that provides friendship, understanding, and hope to those going through the natural grieving process.

Center for Loss & Life Transition
Guidance from Dr. Alan Wolfelt on tending to grief with care.

These resources complement the grounded, compassionate presence funeral directors provide in their communities every day.

Closing Thought

Every holiday season teaches something different about grief. Funeral directors see this year after year. Families are not meant to move on or pretend. They are meant to be supported, seen, and connected to the community that cares for them.